Designer : PauLeNe
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this blog is about my life through my eyes
any feelings hurt or spirt crushed will not be
not be held against the mangement of this blog(meaning me)
if you wish you voice out any unhappiness due to the blog
or otherwise look out for my tagboard where you can voice
your opinion about the blog and/or it's contents
any personal unsatisfactions about me will be taken up
in my presence to my face
entries in this blog are how i feel at that moment in time
and not my everyday presence of mind
feelings and opinions change so do not hold me accountable
for any kind of misinterpretation of the blog

Well things hv bn a lil more exciting the last 2-3 days...for starters...

Monday...
after spendin the whole morning wif my lil cousin from nz...who by the way is very naughty...i went to the zoo wof him his mum and my mum...the zoo has changed ALOT!!...i havent been there in like more than 2 years but alrdy i am like lost...and i used to be like pro and know wher was wat and all...but i am very pro on the Night Safari cos tat's where we keep takin visitors to..and tat's wher i wld b takin anyone who like comes to singapore...*hint* *hint*...anyways the zoo is cooler...ther is so much more photo opprtunities and it has a more open concept...looks alot more chic...not exactly the best word to describe the zoo but it is!!...

Tuesday...
well i went to like NAFA(nayang academy of fine arts)...its an art school tat one of my BFFs aka Sha(wassup gurlfrend!!) studies in...well had a photography class and she wanted a model for her project in makin a mag cover...and i was meant for the "glam" look...so i went there...she did the make-up wif a lil bit of help from her frend...and well my hair was my hair...the dress i wore was the same one i wore for like my granny b'day excpt no tube on the inside...but due to shaz excellent photography skills ther were alot of great shots...i took like 16 shots and 8 of them a pretty good and she got the shot tat she was lookin for...she was superb...we made a good team cos i knew wat look she was goin for and she knew how to play wif the lighting and give direction...and the best part...there was NO fan...but cos my hair was sooo big it gave a windswept effect...hahaha...hw cool is that!!!...i tell you my self esteem is through the roof!!!...honestly i neva felt so good about myself lah...i mean i am not like drop-dead-gorgeous...and some of the shots did show how bad a complexion i have...BUT i have really good features...face-wise anyways...its been a long time since i felt like tis...honestly a loooong time...um i did post soem of the photos up on friendster and one on facebook....so if u want to u can see them ther!!..YAY!!...anyways now tat it is ther on cyberspace finally someone/ppl learn their lesson...while other people/person get the picture...but i look super old in on of the shots...like i am like at least 26...so dont look 18 lah...

Wednesday....
i pigged OUT!!!...on sushi...double yay!!...i love japnese food...no wait i juz love food!!...anythin that is good to eat does not have beef..or is endangered i am good to go!!...well i went wif shaz and her frends from NAFA...it was really fun lah...different bunch of ppl...but still fun...i pigged out soooo much cos it was a buffet...tat i could not sit or stand or eat anythin for like dinner or breakfast...plus my lil cousin from NZ left today to return to NZ...

Thursday...
that is today!...i am sick....no serious i am not feeling well...missed dance class today cos of tat!!...sighs i really need the practice u noe!!...other then tat i took my cat to the vet cos he is sick!!...yes both me and my cat are like sick so we r both on house arrest...excpt for the fact tat i have been on house arrest like 1 week pior to tuesday anyways so tis does not make much of a diff...plus!!...i finished all my money for the week...so i hv no choice but to wait until nxt week...sighs!!

but still a good few days...let's see how tmr goes!!...

still cant believe i look like tat on camera...i think it is the lighting and the photographer...

i am posting again!!...tat is not a good sign....i am bored...hey dont rool your eyes...i am bored okay!!...okay okay i wil not say i am bored anymore...i m juz grouchy...very grouchy...i m snapping at everyone...i guess i m juz frustrated...in more then one way...explaination of which will only make me more grouchy.....i have like tis big grey cloud hovering over my head....with lightning and all....sighs....i juz feel so couped up and suffacated...it is so weird cos i juz went for like yoga today n tat is supp to b calmin...n well i m anythin but calm...i feel like a pig cosi hv been eatin like one for like the whole bloody day...i m tried of the romance novels...i need somethin more substantial...wat oso i dont noe...i juz need somethin more...kinda wish i had parties to attend...sighableness...maybe i need to get wasted...dont worry tat aint gonna happen...ther is no opportunity of tat happenin to me anytime too soon...hmmph...*pout*....i need a hobby....that does not cost me anythin...know any??...i need somethin to do lah...i m brain-numbed right now...i really dont understand how these housewivies do it...i mean juz cook and clean all day...and meet the demands of their family wen they return home...i am so not goin to b one...i cant stay at home for like more thena mnth and alrdy i m like dying can u imagine years of this...i will drive myself and my family mad!!...well wateva...i am juz grouchy and annoyed and pissed...and soooooooooo BORED!!

well i have only one thing to say...i am so F***ing bored!!...so F***ing F***ing bored...that all i feel like saying is F***!!!....tat is sooooo not me....i mean seriously i hardly ever swear...unless i am F***ing pissed...which is hardly ever...or F***ing bored...which makes me F***ing pissed....it's a link reactin....now i am crappin...sighs....well since i am so F***ing bored...all i do is have flashbacks....some things that are like embaressing...i hv had some embarressin moments...some things that hurt like F***...somethings that u wish u can go bck to esp the trips we took wif the buddies...and somethings that u wish wld happen all over again in a increased frequency...but still things happened for a reason....i for one hated my secondary school..i juz didnt fit in...i was a geek/freak....a gereak?!?....well i was neither thin nor pretty nor atheltic nor rich...so that put me in like a outcast kind of situation...to top it all of i am not a extrovert either....a very bad combination for secondary school....but that changed in sec4...i became thinner and prettier but that cld not change wat 3.5 years of lookin like a gereak....so i left school without turnin bck...sure i had some good times ther....but nothin tat i wld miss significantly...and then ther was college...i was not as invisible as i wasin sec sch...i did look bettter...but i was still introverted...tat still has not changed...but wat e heck right...anyways back to coll i was actually lovin coll...then IT happened...watever it was made me hate coll even more then sch...well at least tis time people knew who i was i guess...still it sucked...but prom was awesome!!!...well juz cos i was in the company of friends...and alcohol...haha...i did not have tat much to drink....so wateva...other the trips were great!!...so in short i have to say that the outcome of coll was far more fun then the outcome of sec sch...now i m worried about the uni...hw will this work out for me??...i dont noe n frankly i m a bit paranoid...seeing people i thot i wld neva have to..but wat the hell right...i live my life let them live theirs....but wat about the rest of the population???...r they the narrowminded ones or the open minded kind??....but does it make me narrowminded cos i even considered it???....i dont noe....only thing i can be sure of is that i am juz bored right now....

this is like the 100th post!!!

WHOO HOO!!!

well i cant believe this blog survived that long...it has suffered many trials and tribulations..and honestly i have grown so much it funny...there is so much a couple of backstabbers can do...besides wateva does not kill you only makes you stronger right...anyways still wen i look back at the old entries...i would like to say one thing...i would have wanted anything to change...meaning...i would not be who i am today if not for wat happened...and i like who i am now...a more mellow...still as neurotic as before..and my thought processes sometimes either dont make sense or are more random....but i love tis new kind of spontaniality...i get people better...i actually understand people better...wheather they get me or not is a whole other thing...i am now in the process of finding out who i am and getting comfortable in my own skin...it is a long and tedious process and i have not made much process but....i need to do this...after you lose yourself...then the only thing left to do is to find your self....so well that's wat i am doin...

anyways

on a lighter note.....

I PIERCED MY EARS!!!.....YAY!!....i think i am goin to get a thrid piercing...it felt awesome...i loved it!!...the whole experience...i kinda get it wen my friends who hv piercings all say u cant stop at just one...well now i am considering adding a thrid one on my right ear juz above the second one which i juz got done.....i might get it one to two weeks from now....if that goes well belly piercing!!...but i wanna lose a few pounds before i get that!!...but i will get there!!....and wen i am out of uni..a tattoo!!...tat would be soooo cool!!!...but we will have to see how tat works out for me...haha...ciao

like my new blogskin??....cool right!!
anyways since i hv nothin to do right now except being bugged by my lil cuz from nz....he is 8 and can be quite a monster at times...and a perfect angel at other times mostly wen he is sleeping...since somepple want details guess i hv the time to devulge lil details....guess this time i would like to give a short summary about the NZ trip which in my words was.....the F***ing BOMB!!!...well i spent a good part of my time wif my two older cousins (who now are 23 n 21) are egotistical and male chauvistist pigs...who would bully me to no ends...and the funny thing i didnt even fight back....i mean i dont have a sharpest tougue but still....to not fight back at all...tat was so NOT me...i do hv my bitchy moments....although they are extremely rare....anyways i resorted to physical war....thing is although they are chauvistist pigs...they wld never hurt me back...and i hv pinched and hit them hard enough to leave marks...nevertheless they deserved it...i do not take kindly to being called a hooker...but still they were nice enough to take me clubbin in auckland once....wher the alcohol was good but the music bad....i had coconut rum wif coke(that was good)...rum wif coke...schinffier or something...some shots...beer...and i was still okay....they were surprised to say the least...funny thing is i hvnt seen these goons in over 4 years but we still wer able to connect...like we were all still kids....i mean i was chasin them around...literally runnin after them...althiugh they did not say it they enjoyed being chased and hurt like tat cos it was we were kids again...we got to forget our complicated life problems and issues and juz be fools and have fun in the most childish manner tat is otherwise not possible wif our frends....other then those two buffloes my younger cousin found great pleasure in hurting people...but realised that i was not goin to stand for it...so his attcks on me wer few and far apart...otherwise he was okay quite a nice fellow....anyways we a family portrait taken cos tis was the 1st time in like 11years that the whole family on my mum's side wher in the same place at the same time.....which is better then my dad's cos they hv never had tat....anyways for the family portrait i wore a sari...if ther is one thing i look good in wifout fail(with a good blouse piece) is the sari....and i looked great...and it shows on the photos....and anyone who says tat i am being big-headed or egotistical can shove it cos....frankly they hv not seen me in the red sari minus about 5 pounds...and every gal has a right to be all "i m hot!" in at least one outfit....so phuuuut!!....to the rest of you...then ther was my grandmum's 80th birthday....i helped deco the cake...n it looked awesome....and as a pressie for her i made a collage of all her 6 grandchildren...and a card that looked like a book...with a early photo of her which sha photoshoped...but to get each grandchild to write somethin was more work then actually making the card.....anyways on the party itself....i m sorry but i hv to say tis....i looked hot!!...my LBD(lil black dress)...which is not that lil....juz made me look FAB!!!!...i got all the aunty's lookin at me like WTF??...it was not short or anythin...slightly above knee-length wif and lightly low at the back....i was wearing stockings....anyways....i was like screw them!...anyways after that it was all down hill...yup i put on the pounds...became darker(now i m bck to normal)...and was havina perpetual bad-hair-days!!....still travelling around NZ was sooooo amazing...the views....to die for...PEOPLE U HV TO GO SEE IT!!!....it nature at it's most beautiful.....GORGOUS!!....anyways...sighs...the beaches especially....amazing!!...and the moon...juz so perfect...the water....the moutains....all of it breathtaking...it was awesome goin wif my family and seein it....but ther were some moments wen i wish that i had that some1 special wif me....sighs...other then that i was quite the adventurer...i mean lookin at me...all like mamicured nails(i used have tat) and make-up and cute outfits(and sometimes me)...you would hv never guessed tat i went white- water rafting...kayakin...hiking and treking....although i did fall into the stream once wen is was trekkin....much to my cousins' amusement....and got my jeans totally drenched....so i had to change in the mini--van which we hired to drive around south island of New Zealand....i also bought like 4 pairs of shoes there....my mum did not let me buy any more...sighs....they were all so pretty!!...anyways i love their shop called glassons....i bought like 1 top, i pair of jeans and opaque stockings from there....i had so much ice cream chocolates cheese cherries stawberries(in cream n sugar) necterines kiwis peaches bluebaerries and also the potato chips there i became fat....n am strugglin to lose the pounds now tat i m bck....other then that and the trip to Hobbiton and Rotorua and the christmas bbq....nothing much happened wen i was ther....

WOW!!!2 months!!
i cant believe i dint hv anythin to say for to months....
haha...actually i had tons to say and still do but i juz didnt have the time...
firstly...
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!....
a lil late i know but it is the thought tat counts....right...
well i cant really go into the details cos tooooo much has happened....

1. I GOT INTO IMU!!!...whooohoo!!....i noe ppl hv been complaining bout the uni but i really want to go to aussie!!...and tat i my only like option...

2. tat m'sia trip was awesome!!!...

3. went to NZ for like 3 weeks!!!...that was the F***ing BOMB!!!....
i noe i m not the one to curse but it was sjuz soooooo out of this
world it is like alien!!!!i was like a kid agaon no desicions or
responsibilties....juz being myself....

4.new year was nothin special cos i like spent it at like my neighbour's
house!!...

5.wen to m'sia again for like a short trip....the was awesome!!!!

6.i m now more broke then a church mouse.....and more confused...
then ever before!!!!....about things that i never had to think about
before...

7.hence it can be seen that i back to my normal self again....

well tat about wraps wat i hv been doin so far lah....of course no details cos no time...
plus i dont think tat the page can hold all that information!!

so cya!