Designer : PauLeNe
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this blog is about my life through my eyes
any feelings hurt or spirt crushed will not be
not be held against the mangement of this blog(meaning me)
if you wish you voice out any unhappiness due to the blog
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your opinion about the blog and/or it's contents
any personal unsatisfactions about me will be taken up
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entries in this blog are how i feel at that moment in time
and not my everyday presence of mind
feelings and opinions change so do not hold me accountable
for any kind of misinterpretation of the blog

well x'mas juz ended..i tell u it was like really nt productive mnth....i hvnt really studied at all....i hv really long story to say so i shall start from the time after e 11th of dec....i found out the ms briiinda got herself in a accident....i am not a hateful person....i mean i despise people's characters n stuff but i will neva b happy if they get pyhsically hurt or injured...tat's is nt nice...even with tat thingy wen she was sick i felt sorry for her...but like wateva....but wif briinda wen she got in an accident i actually thot like...she deserved it....n i was shocked....at myself for thinkin tat i feel so ashaned...nw i am no better than her....no one deserves 2 b in an accident...hw did i become so hateful...i feel so ashamed at myself....but after tat i did feel sorry for her...i was once in an accident 2 so i noe hw it feels....an no matter wat a bitch she is...i shld nt hv wished such a thing....anyways on cristmas eve i wen to hepsi's hse...my mum's frend's hse...i met her daughter..she is quite nice actualli....n ate alot....then on x'mas i wen sunway lagoon.....it was like damn packed....n like ther wer like so many hot guys in swimwear to check out....wowee....i was jus lookin...n alot of mat sallehs....SO HOT!!....i was jus checkin them out...i mean no one was like checkin me out....but who cares....anyways after that 2day i wen to mid valley n bought a roxy bag!!...only RM95...SD40...which is quite okay....i bought 2 more tees in 1 utama the other day...n my mum bought 1 skirt, 1 blouse, 1 top, 1 shirt from MNG....so quite happy....onli thing left to buy is my shoes....well got 2 go study nw!!

i tell u really ah..i dont really know wat to do bout his b'dae...should i wish him or not....or shld i plain ignore him...i mean he wished me on my b'dae...i dont want to b rude but it appears i hv like no choice...i dont wan anykind of connection wif him...by him i am talkin bout my ex...ex-bf tat is....i tell u it is like so weird...i dont wan 2 b rude but i wan to keep the distance...i usually dont wish anyone on friendster on their b'dae...but i mean if the wish me then i am like obliged to wish them back rite....RITE!!...well i will see wat i can do lah....sighableness...anyways u noe tat guy frend of mine..i decided never ever 2 tell him....i become frends wif guys cos i juz wan to be frends..i noe that shoulds werid but if i dont set myself a boundary..i will fall for every guy frend i hv n i will 4eva b caught in tis vicious cycle of constant rejection...n wen i say constant i mean contant...well besides he jus a gd frend...n rite nw i really need frends rather than bfs(i noe tat sounds so weird coming from me)...i for one believe in star signs n that every person has some traits that that sign is predicted to hv n so far i was rite...even i fall subconciously into that catagory....i am a scorpio...i am supposed to be passionate about things...n that is true..i feel really strongly bout the env women's rights n oso one's customs n traditions...but then again i am supp to be really secerative...well tat part is not exactli true in many sense of the word...as in once i am ur gd frend chances r i am gonna bug u up to ur eye balls....hahaha...u noe for some1 who doesnt hv tat many frends i seem be able to read ppl very well..well i used to until i can here...some how the altitute or somethin is messin wif my readin meter so i am unable to do wat u used to do...n my reading r gettin all messed up..but at least i am still able to see love signs...btwn 2 ppl....tat skill has nt left me yet....i hope nt....

u shld read the crap they write bout women here...seriousli...i onli read the papers once in a while but still read all kinds of nonsense..seriousli once i read that women r at fault for their rape..AT FAULT!!!!!....who the F*** to they thing they r!!...oh but ther's more...oh more...that men cant control themselves so women have to like cover themselves head to toe to pro tect themselves....WAT THE HELL R THEY THINKIN!!!!...if these mean cant keep their dicks in their pants then should be locked away...this a civilised countryu for god's sakes!!!...we live in civilisation...but y do i find it so hard to belief it.....they r basically telling us since we r women the "weaker" sex n cant protect ourselves that we shld like stay at home...n thus implyin that we should have no life...seriousli that is wat they r implyin...think bout it...this is like unbelievable i tell u unbelieveable!!!....i dont know wat else to describe it as...we r nt the weaker...we r the stronger sex...we r able to control ourselves...men dont exactly walk on the street wif fear that they r going to get raped by a woman rite!!!....so obviousli we r the stronger sex...i tell u....i am not goin to get all hyped up bout this so let me cool down k.....

well anyways....
shaun is like old news...he is goin out wif this bitch n i am like wateva cos i dont go after guys who r like taken...u noe i am like damn scared to b frends wif tarik....he is like lydia's bf...cos of al tis rumours...i am scared ppl will bring it up again even though they r like old history....he is a nice guy...u noe wat i am like really confused lah...i hv this really gd guy frend of mine n he is like really nice charming sweet n dependable to a certain extent....but we r like good frends but nothing more...he is not taken he is still single...but he is already in love wif this girl...n besides he does not go after girls like me...he has a preference to certain types of girls n i am not in that catagory...sometimes i get so worked up if he talks to other girls who arent exactli my frends...it reeeally makes me mad...seriousli...sometimes i feel like i may be confusing this feeling with somethin else like friendship..u noe...i sometimes dont really know wat to say to him...i sometimes try to be funny cos he is funny....but as usual i fail...miserabli....i really value our frendship if it is really ther....n i dont wat to risk anythin...n if he ever asks me if i ever liked him i will lie...through my teeth....cos i noe it is not mutual.....n i reaaly dont want to ruin this frendship...n plz dont ask me who it is cos i will mos likeli lie to u...oh well lah....

well as u noe already the party is obviousli not for me...cos it is already december...it was for our beloved frend ajay...aka AJ...well i suppose he deserved it...he is always nice,sweet, dependable(most of the times excpt wen he is around his new interest then he gets all "i dont noe u"ish) n u can trust him with ur things...(that last bit is a little hard to belief i noe but it is true trust me)...n we juz plain love him lah... well the whole idea was aarti lydia(yes i am frends wif lydia...yay!) n priya(nanthini)'s idea....it is was sheer genius i tell u...anyways it was after n malay exam(i managed to write 211 words...i noe it is like super hard to beleif..i am so proud of myself)..so i was even more like happy...anyways me aarti n lydia wen to old town in PJ(see i am not that clueless of m'sia) n we bought the ballons drinks and the popper thing(i sponsered the drinks n the popper thing..ai don play play i had to use my own pocket money now i have no money to have a proper lunch...well it is a gd thing noe i will be on that diet...i am STILL 60KG!!) after that we wen to aarti's hse to fill the ballons with water...it took like 2 n half hours n we still only managed to fill like 400 balloons...my finger was like sore from tying all tat balloons...anything for ajay rite...well then lydia can up wif this idea....tarif her bf who was the only one who was not wet...(blame aarti's (cute) brother for that)...well he blindfolded ajay before he reached the house showed him th way to the garden n made him stand in the centre of the circle...ther was a temperary malfunction of the popper...the we opened the blind screamed happy birthday n then threw water balloons on him...his power-power clothes were completely wet...after that it utter chaos...balloons wer flying everywher...n my water balloons refused to burst...but it was like super duper fun way...anyways...we played the balloon for like 20mins then the hose can out...the an egg appeared..it fast became 2....(aarti was hit 1st by her bro...the ajay by jaya)...we tried to get back at aarti;s bro but failed miserabli...the excitement weaned out n the balloons finished...now it was time to like clean up the mess...which took like a long time...me ranpreet n priya were cleaning up the mess...then since ther was like onli 1 avaliable toilet we had to lik etake turns n it was takin so long for the ppl before me to shower i tell u...anyways i was the last before Ajay...the whole time after the water balloons finished all ajay was thinkin bout was his mama-lookin clothes...anyways wen it was his turn to shower we surprised him with a new n more power set of clothes(includin underwear)....it was like super fun seeing his face...then we all waited for him to change n he took like super long to change....the ther was the cutting of cake jokin around n the usual stuff....but i was like super fun....we took pics after the thing was over...n i was wearin my mini n my fave butterfly top....cos i realised that might b the last time i will wear it in a long while...so i thot why not wear if for afun ocassion...i however did look a bit pudgy in the outfit nevertheless i still wore it cos it was onli my frends who were goin to see me rite..sheela wrote like a power message in the card...it was like really funny...but in true ajay nature juz to tensionfy us he kept talkin bout may yeng n this other girl(his new love interests)...but i noe deep down he wld actualli burst into tears cos he was like super touched...i tell it was like on of the best days of the year...i didnt feel left out or excluded despite comin from a different class...trust me all my life i have always been pushed to the side n if i ever wen for this kind of water ballon party i will be completeli dry cos i wld be excluded....i am like super happy that didnt happen...i was actaulli part of the grp...n just a passing cloud of a extra frend...i am so happy..*siffs*..finally i am excepted in a larger group..well ajay loved the day n so did i....

p.s.dont u dare tell anyone but damn aarti's bro is like so cute...n he has like this damn sexy car!!!..u noe the olden days mers convertible...it was like super sexy..n he had one ear piercied summore....sighs....